Abigail's eyes were filled with her disappointment toward me.
She seemed genuinely surprised that I would say such words, but everything I had said was the truth. If I had chosen to keep playing along, perhaps she would have accepted that pretense as reality and gone with it.
However, I no longer wanted to play along with her games. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life living for her.
I was a human being too—a living, breathing person. I felt pain just like anyone else.
Her attempts to explain herself were weak and unconvincing.
I didn't want to even think about her reasons or excuses. All I wanted was to spend my remaining time doing my best for myself.
Seeing her standing in front of me, refusing to leave, I couldn't help but find the situation laughable, so much so that it left me speechless.
Yet, if I didn't speak up now, who knew what more she might demand of me?
So, I took a deep breath and looked at her seriously as I slowly said, "Abigail, there's something I've wanted to say to you for a long time now, but you've never given me the chance to. Since you just won't let me go, I think this is as good a time as any for us to clear the air."
My words made her freeze in shock.
So, I forced myself to suppress my anger and frustration as I looked her in the eye and continued in the calmest tone I could afford, "Abigail, don't you think you've achieved your revenge already? If you like Joshua so much, then be with him. I told you before that I'm willing to divorce you, but why won't you? Why do you keep talking about reconciling with me?"
Halfway through my words, I started laughing out loud.
Looking at her now, I felt like an utterly pathetic clown.
I took a deep breath, then looked at her again, gently shaking my head. "Abigail, just face reality, will you? There's no going back for us. Our relationship is beyond saving."
The more I spoke, the more I felt like my heart was breaking. The pain was excruciating.
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