She Accepted Divorce He Panicked (Scarlett and Sebastian) novel Chapter 192

Sebastian’s POV

I can’t chase Scar’s sorrowful look out of my head.

The more I try to hear her and feel her, the more I realize how impossible it is to make amends. I thought I guarded my bottom line as a husband when I was with Ava, but I failed to see that every minute when I was away, was eating away the affection, the trust, the happiness of my wife.

She loved me when we were married, but that sparkle extinguished in her eyes, then it was the light of happiness when she sees me, then the trust in her eyes was replaced with disappointment.

The disappointment I saw when I left her today.

She was just starting to smile at me again.

I dare not to even imagine how much courage it took her to break the news about our baby to me. At that moment, I didn’t see the happiness of having the fruit of our marriage growing inside her. I didn’t see the excitement of a woman experiencing being a mom for the first time. I saw only fear in her eyes.

FEAR. I saw fear, in my wife’s eyes, when she told me about the news of our baby for the first time.

I dared not speak. I dared not to even react. I was afraid that something I said would hurt her. I was afraid that a wrong look from me would make her shut me out again.

Scar saw that, and she hid the sorrow in her eyes, and started telling me about how the regular check-ups has been all well.

But everything is not all well.

I had to find out this way that when I agreed to her divorce to attend to Ava, she just found out about our baby; that when Ava lured her to that murderer in the abandoned building, Scar watched me choose Ava over her and our baby inside her.

She didn’t think I would be happy becoming a father; she didn’t want me to be a part of our baby’s life; she didn’t think that I would care about the life of our baby, because even though she would have died, she didn’t use the news about the baby to even try to sway my decision between her and Ava.

The biggest mistake I made today was that I kept Scar up for my questions about the baby. I was too excited to sleep, and I saw that Scar was making an effort also, to maintain this common ground where we can talk.

If I had let her sleep, then we might have missed the phone call, and I wouldn’t have to make this decision, only to hurt her again.

“Sebastian! Thank God you are here!” Anna Fuller’s wail echos the hallway the second I turn the last corner to Ava’s ward, “Please! Ava’s life is depending all on you!”

My steps pause. How stupid and arrogant was I to think that I could take the weight of another life on my shoulders? We all need to take responsibility for our own lives. I have to, so does Ava.

Jack Fuller shoots me a sullen glance. He blames me for Ava’s suicide. I do, too. I let her have the illusion that she could blackmail me for anything with her life.

That illusion ends tonight!