Chapter 159
Jonathan and I didn’t seem like the kind of couple that got married for love.
Was it a shotgun wedding?
But we didn’t have a child.
I shut my eyes, forcing myself to stop thinking about it. All I could say, painfully, was, “I give up. I can’t keep living like this. These years of marriage have been nothing but pain for me. I had no joy and no peace.”
I didn’t know what the 25–year–old version of me had been thinking… But the me standing here now felt nothing but suffocation and sadness.
If that pain hadn’t run so deep, I wouldn’t have ended up slitting my wrists in the first place.
Even without remembering the past five years, I knew those memories had to be full of wounds, not a trace of sweetness.
“I’m begging you, let me go.”
“To you… Are all those years just pain? There’s not a single moment worth holding on to?” Jonathan asked, his voice raw, like he hadn’t expected me to say that.
I watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed. His dark eyes, usually unreadable, now looked like they were cracking, splintering with something he was trying hard to hide.
I took a deep breath and nodded, steady and sure. “Yes. These five years of marriage with you were the worst years of my life. If I could go back and choose again, I’d choose not to marry you. Every time.”
The night felt heavy, and the silence beside me felt even heavier.
It was 3:30 am, and I still couldn’t sleep.
Jonathan wasn’t lying next to me. I thought I’d sleep soundly after he left, but to my surprise, I couldn’t fall asleep at all.
Suddenly, I sat up in bed.
The image of Jonathan getting up and walking out was still fresh in my mind.
It was exactly what I wanted, so why did my chest feel so empty?
I pressed a hand to my chest and walked to the floor–to–ceiling window. Looking down, I was surprised to see that the person who was supposed to be gone hadn’t left.
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