Olivia POV
Raphael had to leave for some reason. I could see worry all over his face. I don’t know if it was because of work or for leaving Mike so soon.
He is in good hands anyway.
I excuse myself and walk to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and I almost don’t recognise myself. I thought pregnant women were supposed to be all glowing and beautiful. I feel bloated and my skin is horrible.
It feels like I am going back to being a teenager.
I empty my bladder and then wash my hands. I pull my hair up into a ponytail. I don’t feel as glamorous as I hear a pregnant woman feel.
I start to feel bad about myself for not enjoying this pregnancy as all the other women did. I feel guilty at some point. So may woman would kill for this experience and there’s me, not enjoying it. Don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of having a baby, but my anxiety is high. I don’t like how I am feeling and I don’t know if I can tell Raphael. I don’t know how he will react if I tell him how I am feeling right now.
I take a deep breath and walk out of the bathroom.
I walk to the nursery and both babies are asleep and Maria is sitting on the rocking chair reading a book.
She looks at me and smiles when she sees me standing at the door.
“Everything okay?” - I whisper
Maria nods her head with a smile and I walk back out towards the living room where my brother is sitting with Anna and Petra. John and his boyfriend James are nowhere to be seen.
“Where is John?” - I ask
“I bet they are just looking at the view outside in the balcony” - Anna says blinking an eye. Yeah, sightseeing. I can see that. I laugh to myself.
The conversation is flowing. Petra starts telling us about her relationship with Joseph and how they had someone else in their life’s. I already knew that but I can see she is not happy anymore.
John and James return and they join in the conversation. They both look flushed and I can tell they were doing more than looking at the view of New York.
“Have you told Joseph, about how you are feeling?” - I ask
Petra shakes her head.
“Maybe you should, you know he loves you and he would do anything to see you happy”
“I am pregnant she says”
I jump out of my seat and hug her.
“Congratulations” - everyone started to say.
“Thank you”
“Does Joseph knows?” - Anna asks
“Not yet, I don’t know how he is going to react, kids were never on our plans, but it just happened”
“I bet he is gonna go insane, he loves you so much, he will love this kid with all his heart, just look at Raphael” - I say
“If the shark can love unconditionally I think Joseph will be able too” - John says and I agree.
Joseph is a caring guy, he would never do anything to hurt Petra. I know he had his indiscretions but so did she. They made it work. I don’t know if I would ever be able to forgive Raphael if he cheated on me.
The conversation keeps going and I am getting tired. Raphael is not back yet and I am starting to get worried.
“Are you going to be long” - I text him
Raphael doesn’t reply. A thousand things pop into my head. He is injured. He is somewhere hurt. Where the hell is he. He is with another woman. No, no, he wouldn’t do that.
My insecurities start to creep in and I decide to go to bed after everyone left. Petra offered to stay but I knew she was tired. The first trimester was disgraceful for me. I hope that Raphael is back soon, I don’t like to sleep alone on that big bed. I miss his body warmth next to me.
I stand up fast and walk to him.
“Shit you scared me” - he says when I hug him from behind.
I can feel the dry blood in his shirt where my hands are resting on his chest.
“Are you hurt?” - I ask afraid of hearing the answer.
“No” - he says turning around and scooping my face on his hands to make me look into his eyes.
“Why aren’t you in bed?”
“I was worried”
“I am fine, see, not even a scratch, come on let’s get you to bed” - he says and we walk holding hands to the bedroom.
I lay down as soon as we get to the bedroom and Raphael goes have a shower. I can hear the water running and I close my eyes taking a deep breath. I don’t know how long it took me but I start to feel I am drifting off to sleep. Having Raphael around is enough to make me feel calmer and sleep.
Hello everyone.
I am not going to update tomorrow.
Family day.
Another chapter on Monday.
Stay safe
Love
Peyton
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