THE LYCAN KING’S SECOND CHANCE MATE novel Chapter 319

REAGAN'S POV.

I understand that by delaying to claim Ashanti, by not treating her as my equal and not telling my subjects sooner that she was my mate, I committed a grave offense that warrants punishment, but I think this is too much. This is cruel and I'm starting to lose my cool. I was so confident about finding Ashanti in the Blue Diamond Pack. It took me all my courage to keep a straight face when Ashanti's mother told me Ashanti had not come to see her. I was even more dumbfounded when she firmly deciphered her aversion to taking Ashanti in if she ever showed up at her doorstep.

Right now I'm not only worried for my mate, but I'm scared that she might go to meet her mother with all confidence only to get the disappointment of her life.

I have to find Ashanti. I have to bring her back home. I have to make sure she doesn't meet her mother and find out what I just found out. It will break her!

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. I look straight ahead at the door, frowning as I let out an exasperated sigh. I'm not in the mood to see or talk to anyone, but when the thought that whoever is there could have come to give me good news crosses my mind, I give the signal. The door opens and I'm not surprised to see that it's Kyle.

“Alpha Reagan.” He steps in and heads over to the table where I'm seated.

“Yes, Kyle.” My voice is a raspy, tired mess. “Are you here to tell me something that'll uplift my mood? Or should I kick you out?”

“You'll probably kick me out after you hear it.” I groan.

Another search party is back with news of no sign of Ashanti in whatever pack they were sent to go look for her.

I know that's what he's here to say.

“If it's about a search party not being able to find Ashanti, I don't want to hear it.” I say, waving a dismissing hand at him. His shoulders sag in dismay. I watch his chest rise as he sucks in a heavy breath and quickly lets it out.

“Let Ronald and I go.” He repeats for the one millionth time. I shake my head, denying that suggestion for the one millionth time as well.

“As it is now, I'm barely functional. You guys are the ones running the pack in my stead. If I send you two away, I will run this pack to the ground and if I dare leave and spend a single night out of here, those pesky Lycan King's who think they can overthrow me will turn this Pack into a venue for a Rogue festival. I can't risk it. Just keep sending the best guys we've got.” I explain thoughtfully, leaning back on my chair.

I have thought time and again to go out there and carry out this search on my own, but that would mean me staying out of this Pack for days and even weeks. I cannot risk that.

The fact that I am the Lycan King does not make me free from jealousy and usurpation attempts. I have faced these before. My ex-mate died during one of those unexpected attacks and I still get PTSD whenever I think of something like that ever happening again.

My presence in this pack scares them from making a move. If I leave, they will swarm in here with every rogue they can find and cause trouble. I cannot let that happen.

It all makes sense now.

No one kidnapped her. No one took her against her will and wherever she is right now, she's not in a bad condition. She's perfectly fine. She's in hiding and she'll do all she can to make sure I never find her again to bring her here in this pack where all she ever knew was problems and hardship.

And it's all my fault.

My constant fear of the unknown. My cowardice and indecisive attitude pushed her away.

I take in a deep breath that nearly breaks my chest and rise to my feet. I head to the transparent wall to ceiling window, shove both hands in my pockets and stare blankly at the busy street beneath.

“Keep searching.” I say absentmindedly, directing my words at Kyle who must be wondering the reason for my sudden silence. “I agree with you that she could be in hiding right now, but she's going to come out sooner or later, so ….” I face him. “Keep searching.”

“Yes, My Lord. We will find her.” With that, he swivels on his heels and exits the office. I turn back to the window and take two steps closer.

I am such a dog!