ELLIOT
If there's one thing I've learned in the past few minutes, it's the true meaning of "eating mud."
I'm a mud-eater—there’s no other way to describe me right now, rolling around, wrestling a pig in the middle of this filth.
"Stay still, damn it!" I lunged onto its back, but my hands kept slipping, mud splattered everywhere, and its plump body writhed beneath my grip.
I could only imagine the spectacle I was making of myself. I wrapped my legs tightly around its sides, trying to grab its ears and pull its head back.
"Uiiik, uiiik!"
The pig started squealing, and there I was, bouncing on top of it, clutching its ears, riding it around the corral like some damn rodeo cowboy.
What the hell had they been feeding these beasts to make them so strong?!
The noise was deafening, laughter echoed from all sides, and I clung to the pig’s thick neck, trying to get it under control.
What a damn embarrassment. At the very least, after all this, I deserved a good lick from the Duchess.
I finally managed to slow down its wild sprint, both of us rolling in the mud. I dodged its frantic bites while trying to tie up its four legs, it thrashing to escape.
Just when I had it almost subdued—some bastard came to steal my pig!
"Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?! Let go of my pig!" I shouted when I saw him dragging it away.
I had let my guard down for just a second. I knew he wouldn't get far—the pig was half-tied, and someone had thrown me another rope from the fence, which I was already picking up.
"Sorry, buddy, but finders keepers. Get yourself another one."
"Oh yeah, buddy? Well, I don’t need to look far—I just found the biggest swine in here!"
Fueled by adrenaline, I threw a punch straight at the blond brute’s jaw. A solid crack sounded under my knuckles.
The big guy stumbled back, letting go of the pig's leg—the same one I had fought so damn hard to catch.
The pig, limping, took off like it was possessed. I wasn’t about to chase after it again—rage was already making my body tremble.
I tackled the man, who quickly recovered. He was a rugged farmhand, built with muscle.
We started brawling like two uncivilized savages, throwing fists with no restraint.
I landed a kick to his ribs that sent him stumbling backward—right into someone else.
"Hey, what the hell, man?! You just elbowed me, damn it!"
The guy behind him turned, pissed off, and without hesitation, launched himself at the blond, biting his damn head.
"AHHH! Are you crazy, you son of a bitch?! How the hell are you gonna bite me?!" he yelled, trying to shake the man off—who clung to him like a damn tick.
"The only bitch here is your mother—leave my brother alone!"
Then—the sharp shatter of a bottle breaking.
The hand was too plump—the scent wasn’t familiar. A flash of red hair caught my eye.
The body was smaller than my little witch’s. What the hell?! It was the redhead.
"Wait—hey, wait!" I stopped dead, trying to pull away, but her grip was like a damn vice crushing my fingers.
"Don’t be shy, handsome. Come on, let’s get away from this madness. Let’s go somewhere… more private, so you can clean up."
She leaned in, giving me a smirk she probably thought was seductive. My eyes zeroed in on the piece of lettuce stuck between her teeth.
"Yeah, I don’t think so. Sorry, I’m married—and I love my wife." I took a step back. Then another. She purred like a damn stalker, trying to press herself against my chest.
My back hit the wooden fence. Damn it. She had me cornered.
"Don’t lie, come on, don’t be shy. You’re way too handsome to be a farmhand. Your hands—so soft! You’re not a laborer, are you?"
"Uh… no. No, I’m not. And I was just leaving—"
"Just one little kiss! Try me, you’ll like it."
"I don’t like lettuce, thanks." That was the first stupid thing that came out of my mouth. I was about to jump the fence and run for my life when she lunged at me, mouth first.
But before she could plant one on me, the fence behind me gave way. I stumbled back a few steps as the gate suddenly swung open.
Then—a hand grabbed mine again. And this time—it was the right woman.

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