Searching For Jenna novel Chapter 30

They had arrived back at the restaurant. Elliot pulled up next to Cara's car. Cara opened the door and then turned to him. "She's not dead."

"Okay," Elliot said.

Cara got out and slammed the door. Elliot watched her get into her car, back out of her parking space and take off, throwing rocks as she sped out of the parking lot.

Sighing, he put his truck in reverse, backed out, and headed home. Cara was going to be so mad at him if he was ever able to tell her the truth. Jenna was dead because he had killed her when he became Elliot, and there was no bringing her back.

Elliot looked up and noted that Cara was standing at the edge of the counter watching him fillet fish. He turned and smiled at her. "You're here early."

"Yeah, I thought I'd come in and help Sandy set up the prep area before tonight's dinner run," she said.

She was studying him, Elliot could tell, and it was a bit unnerving. He still felt the strong attraction to her that he'd always had and he wondered if she was feeling something too. That would probably be really weird for her after identifying as a lesbian for so long and then finding herself attracted to a guy. Maybe the natural pull toward someone could surpass sexual assignment.

Elliot wasn't going to get his hopes up though. He'd known when he went into the witness protection program he might never see Cara or his mother again. Once he was certain becoming a man was what he wanted and needed to do to feel whole, he acknowledged that even if he were to see Cara again after all the FBI stuff was over, she might not accept him as a man. His therapist had warned him that not only might she not accept that he's a man, but she may hate him for taking Jenna away from her permanently.

Cara being here, in his world, in the middle of this undercover project was driving Elliot nuts. He was terrified his father was going to come after Cara, and worried that Cara would figure out who he really is and blow his cover.

They had made up after Cara had been so mad at him after he suggested Jenna might really be dead. For the past couple of weeks they had talked and kidded with each other like old friends, which they were, even though Cara didn't know that.

Elliot didn't talk about his made up past, but he'd got Cara to tell him about how the past two years had been for her. She told him about starting college at Indiana University, hoping that Jenna would show up. When a year had passed, she decided to change schools and went to Western Kentucky University, but that had not helped her forget Jenna. Cara told Elliot about badgering the police in Evansville. When they couldn't give her answers, she started tracking Jenna's father, hoping he would lead her to Jenna. That was part of the reason she was here. Her grandparents moving here had just been a weird coincidence.

It was killing Elliot that he couldn't tell Cara the truth. Every day they became closer friends, and every day he lied to her about who he was. He knew that the truth would come out eventually, and he felt it would be soon. Until then, there was nothing he could do but wait it out and pray Cara was gone by the time the FBI's sting operation went down.

Steven came in the back door, and Cara turned away to go back to the prep area. Frowning, Steven turned and glared at Elliot, who turned back to his fish. Steven walked over and watched Elliot for a few minutes before saying, "For someone who says she's gay, she certainly seems to have eyes for you."

Elliot nodded. "It makes good fertilizer."

"That's what she said. The land they just bought needs some work. She's determined to make her little garden flourish. But, if she puts that on there," Cara said, pointing to the bucket, "I don't think I'll be eating anything out of it."

Steven, who had been watching their exchange, said, "That's weird coming from a dyke. I thought you'd like things that smell like fish."

Cara's raised voice surprised both Steven and Elliot. "I'm so fucking sick of your comments about my sexuality!" She turned and started to storm away, but came back and said menacingly, "And if you've been with women who smell like fish, you might want to get tested, it generally means they have some kind of STD."

Steven recovered and charged after her. "You did not just fucking yell at me." He grabbed Cara's arm and swung her around to face him. Elliot separated them by putting himself between Cara and Steven.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Elliot demanded. "You had that coming. You've goaded Cara and tried to intimidate her since she told you she was a lesbian the first day she worked here." Elliot was a good six inches shorter than Steven, and probably thirty pounds lighter, but he puffed up his chest like a bulldog getting ready for a fight. "And, don't you ever put your hands on her again."