Psycho - Headless Horsemen MC novel Chapter 11

- Harley -

I can't believe I just told Jax all of that, I haven't told anyone the whole thing, I don't know why but i feel some type of comfort and safety whenever I'm with him, no one's ever given me this feeling. betty only knows little parts I could never bring myself to tell her what happened fully, I was too scared to see how she would react or treat me afterwards.

I don't want my past to change someone's thoughts on me because that little girl isn't me anymore, i won't be walked over I won't be abused I won't be hurt, I refuse to be hurt. All I can do is pray Jax keeps his promise and doesn't tell anyone, I don't think I could take it if anyone else knew what happened especially, my brother.

I cant look Jax in the eye after telling him, I'm so ashamed of myself embarrassed even, every time I think about it I feel disgusting like I want to wash my body with bleach to get the feeling off. "Look at me Harley" I want to look at him but I can't bring myself too, I don't want him to pity me, I don't want him to see how much it still affects me.

"Please, look at me kitten" He almost begs, my stomach turning into knots as I look into his deep blue eyes, I try and give a weak smile to hide the painful memories that are racing through my mind, my body's numb at the memories, he sighs when our eyes meet and I want to run away and hide, i can't let people see me weak, I'm not weak not anymore.

"You are the strongest person I know, I don't think anyone else would have lived through the shit you have, you may think that you're an awful person but you're not, you did what you had to do to save yourself, and then you went and saved god knows how many other girls from the same path that you had walked, you don't realise how many girls you protected by killing the dogs. You Harley are a fucking warrior, a goddess, a force to be reckoned with. And I'm so fucking proud of you, and I know your brother would feel the same".

He gently kisses me and pulls away pushing a piece of loose hair behind my ear, the little things with him make me turn into putty in his hands, I can feel my cheeks turn bright red like a little girl with her childhood crush, I probably look like the biggest idiot right now. "Fucking perfect" He whispers and I blush even harder.

I don't think he meant to say it out loud by the look of his face, he usually confident grin turning into a shy smile. he leans his forehead against mine and snakes a hand around the back on my neck holding onto it tightly "You are so fucking strong and I am so fucking proud of you" A painful lump grows in the back of my throat as I try to hold back my tears, no ones ever told me that they're proud of me.

My phone vibrates and I look at it to find a text from Shelby.

Little Red: girl get your ass over here so we can unpack your shit before work! x

Me: Shit! I'll be there in 45 x

Little Red: I'll be waiting for your sexy ass x

I sigh putting my phone away and look back up at Jax, "Enough of this sappy shit I need to get back to the motel so I can move my shit before work" He gives me a questioning look, "Shelby asked me to move in with her, cheaper to rent if there's two of us and beats living out of a motel room", I get up dusting myself off before Jax gets up after me, "Oh and I'm going to need a ride since you wouldn't let me ride here".

He smiles and throws his arm over my shoulders "My pleasure kitten" He plants a kiss on my temple before we make our way back down the steps into the clubhouse, I must say as much sexual tension between us as there is he has never pushed me for anything more, letting me choose the pace, I might just have to pick up the pace for some fun.

As we walk through the main room all of the men are either drinking, smoking or happily fucking rotters in corners of the room. Jax pulls me into his side a little more as we make our way outside to his bike, I've heard all the things the boys say about females riding on the backs of bikes but I don't think Jax thinks of it like that, I'm pretty sure once he gets over this game we are playing he will have another girl on the back of his bike by the end of the day.

I sigh and throw my leg over the bike positiing myself behind him looping my arms around his waist relaxing into his back. After he drops me off I make my way to my room and gather the pathetic amount of shit I own before turning my key into the reception, I get on my bike and head to the address Shelby sent me. When I pull up I'm in awe, it's out of town away from all the shops and traffic, down a secluded road in some thick woods, I couldn't be happier.

I get off my bike and make my way inside, not bothering to knock, "Bitch I'm home!" I scream from the front door, before hearing fast-approaching footsteps, before I know whats going on I'm tackled to the floor by a very happy Shelby. "I can't believe it, look how perfect it is, you're going to love it!" She's always so happy and cheery. Like a lighthouse guiding me through the dark nights, god I'm so selfish, basically feeding off of her soul.

"Well I can be the judge of that once you get off me so I can at least have a look around" She laughs and gets off me before helping me up, "Come on I'll give you the grand tour" The place is beautiful, a simple country styled cottage, double story. Bedrooms on the top floor, kitchen, lounge, gym and dining room on the bottom floor, she leads me down the hallway to my bedroom, I open the door and my jaw drops, the rooms perfect! Filled with black, white and gold furniture and artwork, almost my dream room.

After 30 minutes I get down for a break making my way over to the bar walking behind it to sit and talk shit with Shelby for a bit, Val lets me behind her to help if it's busy. I fuck around in the bar for a bit before i have to go up and dance again, I make my way to the stage as my wrist is gripped and pulled forcing my body into what feels like a brick wall, a familiar smell fills my nose and i look up to see Jax. "In a rush kitten?" He winks at me looking me up and down licking his lips in the process, "I've gotta dance handsome, I'll come to find you afterwards" I wink at him, he leans down and basically eats my face infront of everyone. I pull away and start walking back to the stage as he smacks my ass.

I've been dancing for no longer than 15 minutes when my eyes roam over the crowd and spot unfamiliar cuts somethings not right, before I have a chance to do anything the sounds of gunshots ring throughout the club, I'm in shock i can't move until i feel a pair of arms grab me down from the stage, I try to fight them off not realising who it is, "Calm down kitten" I look over my shoulder to see Jax and relax before my body goes into panic again, I look over to the bar and I cant see Shelby, my anxiety begins to climb as i try to get out of Jaxs arms.

"Let me go Jax" I wriggle in his arms trying to escape his grip, he drags me behind a flipped over table before passing me a gun, "You're not going anywhere until its safe" most people have run out of the club the only people that are left in here are the people that got mowed down by stray bullets, some dancers and the two MC's, I take aim and gun down as many as I can before I kick off my high heels and run to the bar jumping over the counter to find Shelby hiding underneath the bar.

A wave of relief washes over me before I look over her checking for any injuries, I notice a large gash on her stomach and my heart drops and anger fills my insides, "How did this happen?" I ask my voice lower than normal "It's fine Harley come on lets just go home" the sound of gunshots still ringing through the club, "Fucking tell me Shelby i swear to god" her eyes widen and she points to someone behind me, I snap up and stare at him, he's easily triple my weight if not more, at least 40 years old, grey hair and beard, ugly bastard.

He's the one who hurt her, that hurt my sister, my Shelby. I use the handle of the gun to hit his nose instantly breaking it, the sound of the loud crunch filling the air that's now silent, "You're fucking did this to her?!" I scream as he laughs at me "Just wait until I do more than that to both of you" I shoot his knee cap as he falls tot he floor screaming out in pain, I grab his gun that he dropped and put it in my waistband, I go to turn around but his screams piss me off, even more, I shoot one more time aiming between the cocksuckers eyes, bullseye.

Jax and Gunner come rushing over, I pull Shelby up and sit her on top of the bar inspecting the cut on her stomach, "It's deep you're going to need stitches" she looks at me worried and shakes her head, "No i can't go to the hospital, don't ask I just can't, it will be fine trust me" she gives me a weak smile and I growl, "I'll do it, stay here" I make my way from behind the bar as Jax follows me, he pummels me with questions and i completely ignore him grabbing the first aid kit and making my way back to Shelby, I slam the first aid kit down and shove Gunner out of my way.

"What the fucks got into you Harlz?" I dig my nails into my palms and my knuckles turn white, "You fucking stay away from her Gunner, I'll fucking slice you!" i turn to face him and stare at him not breaking my eye contact. "What the fuck did i do?!" He screams at me, I turn around and throw my first into the side of his head causing him to stumble backwards a little, "So she's good enough to fuck but not worth fighting for is that it?! Is she just a toy to get your cock wet?! Fuck me, Jax and I haven't even fucked yet and he still grabbed me down that stage once shit went south. I can fight he knows that Shelby can't, you were supposed to protect her and you fucking failed, you fucking failed her, where were you?!" I grab Shelby's hand and push Jax and Gunner out of the way making my way to one of the offices slamming the door and locking it behind me.

I sit her down on the table and start to clean up the cut before I start stitching it, "You didn't have to do that" she whispers, I stay silent my hands trembling from anger, she puts her hand over mine and i break down, "I'm so sorry Shelby, I should have protected you" I let the tears run freely as i finishing stitching up her stomach, "Hey look at me, it's not your fault Harley, you came looking for me, you came to find me to make sure i was okay. You did protect me, you saved me".