Every compression felt like a brutal lashing for the heart he had broken. Even so, Seth didn't stop. He kept up the CPR.
Having just been discharged, his stamina hadn't recovered. For over ten minutes, his arms ached, went numb, and nearly cramped. But he refused to give up. He couldn't.
He only had one thought. Save her. He had to save her.
It felt as if he wasn't trying to save a random stranger, but the person he owed the most in his heart.
Jude blew through red lights, racing to the hospital at top speed. The moment the doors flew open, medical staff swarmed in, taking over from Seth and moving her to a gurney while continuing chest compressions.
The team rushed her into the trauma bay. Long after the doors swung shut, Seth couldn't pull himself together. His hands wouldn't stop shaking.
He looked at Jude. "Got a cigarette?"
Jude had specifically gone outside to buy a pack for him.
In the smoking area, Seth inhaled deeply, one drag after another, as if the nicotine was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.
Staring death in the face made him realize exactly how close Noreen had come to the edge back then.
If he could, he would go back in time. Find her, hold her. Tell her, 'Don't be afraid, I'm here with you.' Instead of letting her face death all alone.
If he could, he wished he could go back even earlier. Before she drank that first glass of liquor for him, he would take it and drink it himself. Tell her she didn't need to learn how to schmooze or work herself to the bone. Tell her she didn't have to navigate the vicious corporate world. Tell her she didn't have to become a ruthless executive.
Or maybe, back to the very beginning. Before she decided to give up her study abroad dreams, he would tell her never to abandon her ambitions for anyone. Not even him.

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