My Unforgivable Mate novel Chapter 70

I start to count my heartbeat, anything to distract myself from the pressure of Malic's gaze on me. It's not long before we're out and he's leading me it his car. His brand new, keyed car. "I don't think they can hear us this far down." I stop at a safe distance.

He opens the passenger door for me anyways. "Still,"

"Malic,"

"Please Nadia." The door stays open. "I won't drive." I tug the sleeve of my hoodie letting my hands disappear.

"Ten minutes." I start closing the distance between us.

"I'll take it."

The door shuts behind me as I sit and watch him go around to get in himself. I swallow hard before looking over at him, dawn is starting to rise and it highlights his features.

"I don't know how many more times I have to apologize but I'm sorry, you were right, I jeopardize us, I let her get between us-"

"I don't think I want to-"

"Please just listen!" He cuts me off leaning in. "The worst feeling ever is not being able to talk to you, I can't run to you like is used to-remember the time you couldn't sleep so I took you dancing, I told you it was a surprise but I all I did was take you to an empty street where we could have a dance off-"

"I don't think this is helping," I drop my head feeling my eyes sting.

"Truth is: I still love you and I'm not quite sure what to do with it. I just want to hold you and talk all night like we used too, I just simply miss you, I miss us Nadia." I feel the heat of his hand on my cheek then my head is lifted and I meet his eyes with my own.

"Doesn't it mean anything to you? That fact that I love you?" I shake my head.

"It's too late for that," the whisper of words barley make it off my lips.

"I can't be," he takes my face with both his hands. "If it were, you wouldn't be in my car- I can see you still care!"

"You're still breaking my heart and you don't even know it."

"Come near me and I'll fucking deck you in the jaw Malic! I'm not playing!" He lets go of me. This is what I'm talking about! This is where I'll find myself if I don't cut our ties! "Fucking asshole." I walk away. "Shit! What is wrong with me!"

Aggressively wiping my face I call the elevator down. It comes and I step in. "Nadia! Hold the door!" Malic comes to view and I go to push the door closed.

"Take the fucking stairs." It shuts in him face, I just need to get away form him, as far as I can get, I'll take it. The doors open once more and I rush past guest into my room. I have school to get ready for anyways.

I let the shower run before stepping in. I just let him kiss me, I let the kiss consume me and I totally forgot all that I've been fighting for, I never once thought he would go as far as kissing me, I also never thought I'd give in so damn easily.

Yet, I still feel it. I know damn well if I didn't have any sense left in me I would have probably let him fuck me in his car, what I wrong with me! Am I that desperate?!

I don't even know what to feel anymore, at times I feel like punching him, other times I want nothing more but to have him close, sometimes I crave his touch, others I don't want him close. I'm so- I don't even know.

I can't fall apart now, I already have a rejection in mind, no more mind tricks, I'm getting rid of him, for good.