But I hadn't anticipated that Wesley would genuinely fall for me.
He didn't want to break up.
In senior year, an important watershed moment in life was approaching.
I knew Wesley was destined to study abroad.
I had never thought about a future with Wesley; the distance and our family backgrounds were insurmountable gaps between us.
So watching Wesley become increasingly infatuated with me, I grew anxious.
We needed to resolve this soon, before it affected either of our college entrance exams.
During the winter break of senior year, I brought up breaking up.
To eliminate any hope Wesley might have, I was quick, precise, and ruthless.
I only told him three sentences:
First one—
"It's over. I know you only dated me to distract me."
Before he could explain, I immediately followed with a second one—
"But you don't need to feel guilty, because I already knew why you were dating me all along. I was just playing with you too."
Third one—
"And yes, I deliberately controlled my scores all the time. But I won't do it anymore."
The second semester would be focused on the college entrance exam; I couldn't hide my true abilities anymore.
Three sentences completely shattered a young man's heart.
From then on, Wesley and I were "respectfully distant," and after the college entrance exam, I lost all trace of him.
I thought my rationality had successfully controlled my emotions, and this romance would become a sweet memory to cherish.
I did great; both Wesley and I would be fine.
Until later, when I tossed and turned night after night.
I realized, oops, I originally wanted him to remember me forever.
Now I'm the one who can't forget him.


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