Lost in You novel Chapter 88

He drives me and Ella at full speed, moving away from my goal.

"James, don't you know I've always hated you?" I calm myself down.

James drives quietly and says nothing.

I say nothing more, only look out of the window, and feel anxious.

When we arrive at the villa, James takes me by the hand and pulls me out of the car.

The door closes hard behind me.

Ella shakes in my arms.

Carolina, you've lied to me over and over again. Why should I believe you over and over again? What a fool I have been!

"I'm sorry." I bow my head, feeling guilty.

James laughs at himself. "You always look so innocent. You always say you're sorry, but what's the use? You put a knife in my heart every time! Do you know how much does it hurt here? It's bleeding in here! Bleeding!"

James points to his chest and looks at me in pain.

And what else can I say but apology?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I say it over and over again.

"The pain of letting go of the one you care about is only known after you have tasted it." There is no emotion in James's cold face.

“What do you want?” I have a bad feeling about this and ask in a panic.

"Take Ella down." James speaks to nannies with a stiff face.

Suddenly I feel cold sweat all over. "No!" I hold on to Ella.

Two servants come up and look at me carefully and say, "Miss Nida, don't embarrass us."

Ella wakes up in my arms. When she sees James, she calls to him, "Dad!"

James, whose face is still grim, shouts at the servants. "Hurry up!"

"What do you want to do? I will not allow you to take my child! Go away! Go away!" I am in a panic to protect Ella. I couldn't let her leave me again!

But they come to grab Ella and tear at her. Ella is so frightened that she bursts out crying.

"James, if you have any complaints against me, just tell me! Why do you have to take away Ella? She is my child, and no one can take her away from me!” At the moment I have nothing to do but just want to be with my child.

"Carolina, you know how painful it is, right? You know how it hurts when leaving the one you love the most and losing your family, but why should you let others taste the pain?" James's eyes are cold, and he questions me word by word.

They are trying to take Ella out of my arms. I am shaking and scared, while Ella is crying.

"James, she's my daughter. You can't take her! I'm Ella's mother. She grew up with me. You can't do that! You can't!" I kneel down with Ella in my arms.

"I beg you! James, I'm begging you for the last time! Please don't let Ella leave me, will you?" I am begging, over and over again.

James is unmoved. He looks at me with his cold eyes.

“Carolina, I've done everything for you. I've even gone against my own mother. But you? You just want to stay away from me, take my daughter away and leave me! Don't you think I'm miserable? Why does everyone around me want to leave me?" He looks at me from a distance, and his eyes are full of sadness that stings my heart.

But I can't admit it.

I look up at him, sobbing, and says, "James, you should have known that we are over when your mother ruined my family! I come back to you after so many years just to take revenge, I hate you! I hate Isabel! Don't you know it? I didn’t mean to have a baby, but she is my child. I don't want to stay just because she is your child. If she is any other man’s child, I would also give birth, you know?"

These words are enough to hurt him and make him hate me more and more. This is the best thing. Only in this way can I feel worthy of my parents, and as long as James and I are together for one day, it would be insulting to them.

James looks at me in shock, bewildered and sad. "Are you sure you don't love me anymore?"

"No." I look up to his eyes, without hesitation.

James chuckles and gives me a cold look. "I don’t care. Do you think I'll let you go when I hear you say you don't love me anymore? No, I won't let you leave here for the rest of my life! Get ready to end up your life here!"

He's trying to imprison me.

I freeze. I look at James in amaze.

“Why?” I ask, with tears in my eyes.

“Yes." James confesses, "I can't lose you anymore. It's too hard."

My heart is full of mixed feelings. I hate him but I love him. I can't let go of him but full of guilt.

But we have no future. I smile sadly.

James says nothing more, takes me upstairs in his arms, kicks open the bedroom door, and throws me on the bed.

“I remember how active and enthusiastic you were yesterday, but I am grieved and sick when I know that you were to reassure me and take the opportunity to leave! Carolina, I treasure you so much, but what about you? What do you think you are?" James's firm chest presses against me, looking at me with anger in his long narrow eyes.

I laugh, "But aren't you enjoying it? You know everything but you can't say no to me, James. Don't you feel sick? I'm using you, and you know you're willing to let me use you."

We're all in a play; we're all testing each other, and we don’t trust each other. This kind of love is like a colorful bubble, a poke enough to make it burst.

James flares, "Carolina! You provoke me again and again! Do you know you are seeking death!"

"Kill me if you can, but you won't, will you?" I smile at James and laugh at him.

James looks at me in pain, and his hatred slowly turns to frustration and upset.

He hates me for not loving him, but he could do nothing about me.

“I can do whatever as you like. Do you want me to flatter you? I smile and kiss his eyes. I say, "You want me to please you?"

I kiss on his neck, "Do you want me to be under you?"

My lips run down his neck to his Adam's apple. I suck gently and say, "Do you want me to serve you like this?"

"Whatever you want, I'll give it to you. But remember, James, I won't love you anymore. Your love is too selfish." I sneer at James.

James couldn't resist me, but he wants to kill me.

He looks at me with hatred and sadness in his eyes. As last, he says, as if praying, "Carolina, do you know how cruel you are? You fascinate me; you make me fall in love with you, and then you abandon me, and then you leave, leaving me with nothing." James ducks his head and buries it in my neck.

My neck is suddenly wet and cold. He is crying.