Lost in You novel Chapter 85

James is threatening me. I probably don’t have any room to fight back. He knows I would agree, because I am always helpless against Ella.

She's my daughter.

I look at James in bewilderment.

"Why do you keep pushing me like this?" I question James.

James touches my face. "Because I don't want you to leave me, okay?" he says.

"But I don't like you like this. I really don't like you to treat me like this." I say.

I have been entangled with him for too long, but if James doesn’t let go, we would only go on like this.

It is really tired. I closed my eyes.

"James, can't you leave me alone? Ella and I are used to living without you. We are happy with that." I laugh gently. "Can't you just pretend you've never seen Ella?"

"Carolina, do you know how cruel you are? How could you let me turn a blind eye to you and Ella? I can't! Ella is my baby! You are my wife!” James's eyes light up and he looks at me, grumbling.

"Ok, I see." He seems to want to kill me.

James looks into my eyes and says, "So what's your answer?"

"Do I have any other answers? If I say yes, it means I give up. James. I have no other answers." I smile, “It looks like I'm never going to get the life I want."

James hugs me and says, "No, I'll give you whatever you want, as long as you're here with me."

"Carolina, you have no other choices; otherwise Ella will never meet you. She will be my daughter and she will forget you. She is just four years old, right? Young children quickly forget many things, including you as her mother." James threatens me.

"Ella will hate you and so will I."

James purses his lips. "It doesn't matter," he says, "It may be the only way to keep you. Promise me. OK?"

I have no choice but to do so.

I could feel how excited James is. He is holding me tightly, as if he is holding the world around him. He is shaking; his body is so hot that he seems to be burning me.

It will not be peaceful in the future.

I push away James and say, "Let’s go. Take me to meet Ella."

At this time, I can only rest assured when I see her.

"Fine." James smiles softly at me, but my heart is cold.

Am I going to live with my father's killer?

James is so happy that he shakes my hand and kisses me every now and then. I look at him coldly, but it doesn't seem to affect his good mood.

He leads me upstairs and opens the door.

The room looks like a fairy tale world decorated with pink lace. There are all kinds of toys on the big princess bed. She is on the bed with her eyes closed, with her nurse standing beside her.

I admit that I can't give her these.

"What a beautiful daughter you have." James looks at her lovingly.

Ella's eyelashes move uneasily. I laugh softly. The little guy is pretending to be asleep.

"You go out first. I want to be with Ella alone." I look at James and say coldly.

James frowns and says, "Can't I?"

"No." I say.

I turn around and look at Ella on the bed. "You should know that I stay because of Ella, not you, James. There will never be a chance between you and me."

"Okay, but I don't care, as long as you stay with me." James's voice is always tempting.

His love words are slowly eroding my heart.

I turn my back to him, and feel messy in my heart.

James leaves with the people who are taking care of Ella, and only Ella and I are left.

"Get up. I know you are not asleep." I say with a smile.

Ella slowly opens her eyes and looks around to breathe a sigh of relief. "They are really gone now, but my mother is so smart that you can know it at a glance that I am not asleep." She sticks out her tongue and jumps out of bed, asking me to hold her.

I catch Ella, look at her lovingly and say, "Are you afraid today? You're scared."

Ella sniffs and says, "Yes, I thought my mother really doesn't want me. They all say they would live with me in the future. But I am afraid that I would never see my mother again."

I put my arms around Ella and swear, "No, mom will never give up Ella. You are mom's baby."

Ella is so happy and relieved that she acts like a spoiled child in my arms.

She finally falls asleep with peaceful mind. I look at her, feeling more and more disturbed.

I don't know if Ella will get involved in some fights, but the best way is to get out of here.

I must take Ella away with me.

I put Ella to bed and go out. Unexpectedly, I open the door and see James standing outside.

He is wearing the same clothes as before.

"You've been waiting here for me?" I say, looking at him.

My eyes are cold, but James puts his arms around me and says, "I want to see you right away, but you won't let me in. I'm anxious."

He is so happy today, and the smile seems never to disappear from his face.

"Carolina." James is calling me, and his hoarse sexy voice is attractive.

James rolls with me on the king-size bed. It’s my favorite tatami.

It's big and soft and makes you want to sleep comfortably on it.

He and I are kissing, hands lovingly stroking each other.

Years later, I am in James's bed again.

He moves slowly, as if he is afraid of hurting me. I look at him with my blurred eyes and see James's tolerant expression.

"Won't you hurry? I like you to be quick." I invite James, smiling at him.

Then he quickens. The James I knew before has been back.

I close my eyes and scream. Never have I been so desperate like now.

All the plans are on the go and nothing will go wrong.

After the passion, James touches my earlobe and smiles, "Why are you so passionate suddenly?"

"Don't you like it?" I turn my back on him and say without expression on my face.

"I do." James says.

But that kind of love is not what I want.

I close my eyes and gently say, "You must like it. You must be good to Ella and me in the future."

I deliberately lay a trap for him.

"Sure" James says softly, "I will treat you well."

Good. I see.

I stay at home every day. When I go out, I would make it clear to James. James nods, and then I could go out.

It is like captivity, but I don't mind it, just smiling at him.

It's all false.

James will be out in a few days, and then I'll have a chance to leave.

"Book Ella and me a plane ticket." I'll send the message to Morley.

Morley replies without asking. “Okay”.

Bye, James.