Lost in You novel Chapter 45

Finally I understand that many things that are too late to think about are clear. Why does Neil make such a request, not only because to make me suffer, but to cause misunderstanding between James and I.

The timing is just right, and James thinks that I don't want his child at all. The sacrifice of the child could save my father. The child we haven’t meet are sacrificed.

Why is this woman in front of her so vicious, she is also a woman, let alone this child is her grandson.

"This child is your new grandson, how can you do this."

Isabel raises her eyebrows, "Do you think I will recognize a child born by a woman like you? You are not worthy! The mother of our James's child must be famous!"

It turns out that I don't even have the qualifications to have a child for the family.

They are here to show off. Are they happy to see the results?

I look at them with hatred, "You will be retaliated!"

"I never believed this, I am the master of everything!" Isabel looks up confidently and proudly, looking at me with contempt.

My mother helps me, tears falling down, "How can you do this? How can you do it!"

"I say that this is the consequence of disobedience. Didn’t I say that you should never see James again. You actually do not listen to me, and dare to conceive his child" Isabel says.

Am I really wrong? Shouldn't I really meet James again? Why can I never control my own life? Why can't I be with the person I love.

The room seems to have been echoing Isabel's voice, sharp and reprimanded, "Because you are not obedient! Not obedient!"

I cover my ears painfully, "No. No!"

Isabel smiles with satisfaction in the corner of her mouth, "I'm happy to see you so uncomfortable."

Looking at Neil in the corner of the side with a thrill of revenge, he proudly says, "Look, what can I do if you don't be with me?"

There is a confusion in my brain, all kinds of sounds pour in, they are teaching me, reprimanding me, and forcing me.

Everyone is like this.

I can not stand it any more.

"Oh, no!"

I collapse and hug myself crying loudly.

"Oh, behave yourself in the future." Isabel puts on sunglasses and looks at me lightly.

They go away and win with triumphant.

I sit on the ground as if I have no soul.

"Get up. It's cold on the ground. Let's think about some other ways. Carolina!" Mom cries, "It’s I should be blame. It’s also me who forced you to marry Neil! It’s my fault."

What is the use of saying this now?

"No, no, I'm going to see James. I want to make this clear." As if I have find the hope, I run from the ground and rush out.

I couldn't hear what my mother shouts behind me. I run forward crazily I have to make clear with James. I can't let him misunderstand me.

Nothing is left, I can't be without him.

My heart is in a mess, and I don't know how to tell James. I am panicked. For the first time, I feel that I am so far away from James. It seems that we would not fall in love again.

I haven’t been so scared before death. I pinch my finger and keep looking out the car window. Hurry, hurry, hurry again.

The car stops at the villa in the southern suburbs.

I fall to the ground all of a sudden when I get off the car.

"Miss, are you okay." The driver looks at me worriedly.

Anyone who thinks this is the most embarrassed. My hair is messed up, the face is pale, lips are dry, and the eyes are red and swollen.

The gate of the carved fence is open, as if waiting for me deliberately.

I get up from the ground and stumbled into it.

James is sitting on the balcony that day. It is still the place. The last time we watch fireworks and hugged and danced together, it seems that things are changing.

I don't know how I get in front of him. There is nothing in my head. It is blank.

He wears the same clothes that day. But he is no longer a warm-hearted one.

He shakes my hand away and my body shakes, "I didn’t."

"Do you think I won't investigate? I asked the doctors and nurses of the day and they said it is you who did the abortion! You decided not to have this child yourself! And your consent for surgery!"

The tears James holds back hard finally flow out, he squeezes his mouth tightly and looks at me with hatred.

His words make me completely desperate.

I was framed by Isabel from the beginning to the end. She even guessed that I would go to James to explain. She bought the doctor and nurse and blocked my death.

James looks at me sadly, "How can you be so cruel?"

"Perhaps you haven't loved me that much since the beginning, because I've been chasing you away. You can leave me once you decided to leave and went to be a war correspondent, and you don’t want to see me and lie to me and hide from many secret! You say you love me, but why should I be the one who is forsaken by you?"

I am selfish, I am wayward, I am full of lies. This is my last image, and any explanation is futile.

I just want to have a pure love like many people. I escape because I am indecent. I am afraid I don’t deserve his love.

As a result, I end up in such an ending.

Maybe from the beginning I approached James with an impure purpose, and our encounter is the beginning of all contradictions.

Love makes me addicted to him, makes me happy, and makes me uneasy, I am afraid of losing him, but when this moment comes, I feel relieved instead.

You see, I don't have to be live carefully anymore. It’s so tired.

Finally, the lies that have been covered for a long time are exposed.

"Sorry." I say to James, his face still indifferent.

Now James will not listen to any explanations. He has been optimistic for our love. After pain accumulating to a certain level, he can't bear it. He begins to doubt it and begins to despair.

The root of all this is caused by me. It’s my fault.

The sight in front of him gradually blurs.

"What's wrong with you. Carolina! Hey!" He runs to me, nervously and helplessly.