I'll Take This Pain novel Chapter 18

"Your eyes – wider than distance,

this life – sweeter than fiction,"

- Sweeter Than Fiction by Taylor Swift

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked Nina, my heart beating harder and harder. She just stared at me, blankly. "I'm not going to throw myself on him. What am I, Lindsay?" I ranted. "You don't have to throw yourself at him." She said lightly. I sat down on the floor and groaned. "If I don't throw myself at him, I die but thinking about it; I'd rather die." I said truthfully. I didn't know what to do. Should I throw myself at Caleb just to live or should I just be myself? Do I respect myself enough? "I- I've got to go Nina. I need some time to think, thank you." I said to her. She nodded, still quiet as I picked Sean who was sleeping on the couch up and limped towards the door.

"Just- Scarlett, don't shift during this month. It's very dangerous." Nina warned me as I was about to leave and I nodded. For some reason, even though I don't know her well I felt a sense of honesty in Nina and I trusted her. I limped back up to my attic room and put Sean on the bed. I turned off the light and snuggled into the warmth of the thin blankets. Although it was evening and I haven't ate, I was tired that I fell asleep for hours.

**

I felt someone shaking me, gently slapping my face. I opened my eyes lazily and pushed them away forcefully, annoyed at the fact that I was woken from my slumber. "Oh thank gosh. I thought you died, Scarlett." Nina's voice said. I sat up and winced as a spasm of pain shot up my leg.

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