Her Graceful War Song novel Chapter 1610

And yet, I knew well enough that Carissa held no affection for my brother. She chose to marry him only because she didn't wish to enter the palace and serve at my side.

Since their hearts were not truly united as one, I thought to raise Carissa's standing by granting her command of the Mystic Army. In the eyes of others, the Mystic Army would still be in the hands of Carissa and Rafael's household, and it would seem like I had not stripped my brother of his power.

At the time, it seemed a most clever arrangement.

However, I failed to foresee that they would not always be distant from each other. Time nurtured affection, and through marriage's union, their interests too became one.

I couldn't have known. The queen and I had never shared such closeness, nor had I ever given much thought to matters of marriage.

But thankfully, though their affection deepened, they never bore any ambition to replace me.

It was my own mistrust that led me astray.

At first, I believed that though Carissa was skilled in martial arts, leading the Mystic Army would prove too great a burden. With so many under her command unwilling to accept her, I thought she might give up within a few months, after which I could appoint someone else.

Yet, to my surprise, she brought every unruly man to heel. The entire Mystic Army came to obey her without question.

Once more, I had underestimated her. Or rather, I had made the same mistake as so many others in this age: no one truly believed a woman capable. I had erred as they all had.

The more brilliant Carissa became, the more I found myself stirred by thoughts of her.

And so, when my brother left the capital on campaign, I committed a foolish act that gave rise to gossip. As a result, Carissa claimed illness and withdrew from public view, while I found myself the subject of criticism.

A moment of weakness and recklessness—such a thing ought never to happen to one in my position. I had disregarded the bond of brotherhood and showed neither virtue nor kindness.

Later, when the matter of succession grew fierce, I could not help but wonder if it was retribution—my misdeeds returned to me. I had cast doubt upon my own brother, pushing him aside, and now my sons and concubines fought among themselves like beasts.

Thankfully, Cecil remained untainted. My brother would guide him. And even if Cecil wasn't fit to be king in the end, that was fine. So long as he could father heirs, I trusted that my brother would return the throne to Cecil's line.

I never expected that I would come to truly trust my brother only in my final days.

As I lay dying, I thought back to the vows I had made when I first took the throne. Some, I had fulfilled; others, I did not. I didn't think I was a foolish ruler, but to say I was wise and virtuous would be a stretch as well.

There was weeping all around me, yet I felt at ease. So, this was what it was like to be at peace in the end. No more weighty matters of state. No more pain or illness.

It felt as though I were floating high above the earth. When I looked down, I saw my mother's hair streaked with grey, and my young son, still so tender and unknowing.

My heart ached with the knowledge that I had not been a good son, nor a good father. From this moment on, I had to leave everything to my brother and Carissa. There was much in this world I couldn't bear to part with, but at last…

I was free.