Forrest novel Chapter 49

FORREST

“MAYBE IN our dreams, love.” I wanted to hug her so tight and kissed her hard until my anger wore off, but she would not remember it tomorrow. It was useless to take advantage of a poor drunk woman. What I wanted to do was to spank her pretty arse. She may be drunk, but I could still see the pain, the sadness, and the hunger in her eyes, and I was sure she could see the same thing in me as well.

“Are you some kind of a hot white knight?” She slowly raised her hand, running her finger on my chin.

“If you think so, then I am.” I missed you, woman. So bloody much that I can’t see straight right now, but I still have my self under control, and my respect for you was still intact even though you’re already in my arms. And it’s insane how much I value my feelings for you.

She swallowed. “I know someone. He’s kind of my hot white broody knight. After he saved me, he left me without saying goodbye.” Her eyes watered, she blinked it off. “It hurts so much, you know.”

And my heart ached that she felt that way. “He’s kinda an arse, yeah?”

“Something like that. I guess I mean nothing to him after those kisses and wild nights we shared.”

“Maybe he’s giving you some space for you to rethink if he means something to you, beautiful. He’s gonna reach out soon, trust me.”

“He doesn’t care because if he does, he’s not gonna break my heart.” Her words cut deep into my chest and left me stunned and puzzled.

I wanted to apologize for making her feel that way—that I broke her heart, but so did I.

As I slid the key card to our room, Megan kept staring at me. The only thing that I knew she was drunk because she didn’t throw me a pit.

I laid her down the bed, placed down her purse on top of the nightstand, and took off her shoes. “You’ll be feeling better when you wake up.” I kissed the top of her head and wiped off her blonde hair from her face. “You look good in blonde, Megan.”

Not less than five minutes, she was already snoring. And I watched her like a creep for hours until I couldn’t keep up. I took off my clothes and so as hers before I tucked myself beside her. I stared at her one more time before I moved to my side and I closed my eyes.

“I love you, Forrest.” Her voice made me still and stop my heart. I was a hundred percent sure I heard her right. When I turned, she hadn’t moved a muscle since I put her on the bed.

I must be dreaming.

***

“Oh my god!”

My eyes fluttered open. My body stilled when everything registered. The blanket was taken off from me, leaving me nothing but my boxers, and my stupid cock in half-mast.

“Oh god,” she muttered again.

I turned to face her. Her eyes were wide, her hair was messy, and her makeup smeared on her face.

“Morning, drunkhead.” I smiled despite my dozy state. She still looked shocked to even respond though. Her brow squished together as she glared at me, then peeked under the blanket.

“I was tempted, trust me, but I’ve known myself when it comes to self-control. I didn’t do anything, I promise. It’s gonna be amazing if we both sober and feel every inch of me inside you.” Oh, fuck! I clenched my jaw tight until it ached. I was an arsehole. I shouldn’t have said that. Right now, she was about to punch me in the face.

Great. I’m screwing this up again.

“Oh god, you’re an assho—” Then she gagged and rushed towards the bathroom. She was right. I let my stupid cock’s demands got into my brain. Now she wasn’t going to talk to me ever again.

I sat on the bed and sighed deeply before I joined her in the loo. I grabbed a glass, filled it with water, and offered it to throwing-up Megan. She took it from me but never muttered a word, and I started to get worried. I squeezed toothpaste to the two toothbrushes like a fool that I was.

When she finally pulled herself together, and I was already brushing my teeth. I offered a toothbrush to her.

“What are you doing here, Forrest?” She was still angry when I glanced at her through the mirror.

When I was done brushing my teeth, I walked out and sat back to bed. “Welcome to England, Megan.”

“Why are you here?” She spelled out. She came back, furious, already crossing her arms over her chest.

“And you chose to get drunk with a bunch of bollocks than to see me at the party.”

“Mouth!”

“Or—”

I smashed my mouth on hers in a punishing kiss while she was twisting and writhing underneath me in protest. No matter how much she struggled to get loose, I knew she would never win.

I missed her taste, her lips, her body, and everything about her. I moaned into our mouths as the sensation blasted through me. My control evaporated as my inner ache throbbed. My lust on her and my love for her soared high that I forgot I was not in the right mind. Perhaps, there was no blood left in my brain to think that I was already forcing her.

I let her go and stood up. “Fuck! What had gotten into me?”

To see her getting hurt with tears rolling down her face while wrapping herself protectively made me feel like a worthless prick.

I tossed my hands in the air after seeing her so helpless. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight. I wanted to punch those arseholes when I saw you were laughing with them. I was so damn jealous that they could make you laugh while nothing worked for me.”

“Just leave me alone,” she said in a stronger tone, her chin trembled. When I moved down to hold her, she stopped me. I thought I die. “Just go.”

“Megan, please? You keep pushing me away.”

“I can’t do this.”

I ignored her subtle warning. “Don’t do this to me, please?” I held and lifted her chin. “Look at me, please? Stop pushing me away.”

“Please, just go. Don’t make this hard for both of us.”

I couldn’t say a word. I just stared at her while I was bleeding, shredding, and mourning deep inside. I couldn’t breathe and think rationally. My heart was telling me to stay, but she didn’t want me anymore. At that moment, I was epically hopeless and helpless because I knew nothing could save our relationship anymore. Or I wasn’t trying so hard enough.

It might be less pain if I did everything I could before I left, but I let her decide instead. Maybe the pain I felt right now was because I had regrets. I grabbed my trousers and put them on in silence. I closed my eyes for a few moments.

I forced a swallow and found my strength back. “I’m going, for now, but it doesn’t mean I give up on us. I hope you remember what you said to me last night. Or at least I should make myself believe that that’s how you feel for me.” I put my white shirt on, grabbed my shoes from the floor, and walked towards the door.