Forrest novel Chapter 38

MEGAN

Oh. My. God!

FORREST HAD a gun under his pillow. He. Has. Gun. A freaking gun.

He was sleeping with a gun under his pillow like James fucking Bond! Was he a spy? Or was his life in danger that he had to keep a gun with him? My body was still trembling to that thought that I didn’t know him at all.

I cared about him, but I couldn’t be with a man who spied or killed people. He was dangerous or his life could be in constant danger. That was probably the reason why he was using an alias—Oh god! Was he an undercover agent and messed up with dangerous people such as his father? He probably sold drugs or guns for a living. The gun under his pillow, his secret identity, the penthouse as his secret lair, his job as a bartender. Oh, my God!

His father wouldn’t hunt him down in the first place if he didn’t do something wrong. Whatever he told me, perhaps he was just making it all up.

“Meg?” Camila drilled me a scrutinizing stare as she stood in front of the door.

“Don’t ask, please? Can I sleep here tonight?” I actually didn’t have much time to sleep because it was already morning, and I had to go to work.

“Are you in trouble? I can slap Forrest with my new purse. The buckle is a lot bigger than what I used to hit Pyke.” She laughed, then stopped, looking guilty when her joke didn’t affect me. “Oh, god. I’m sorry, Meg. Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

“You can go to your old room.”

We climbed upstairs to the second floor. I used to stay here during the weekend before she got busy with her company that designed automobiles. “I’m glad you called. I feel like a terrible best friend lately. I’m so busy, and could hardly find my free time to spend with you.”

“I understand, Cam. You’re busy with your job, as a wife, a sister, a daughter, and now that you’re pregnant, you can’t stress out. I am happy for you, you know.” I squeezed her hand and smiled tightly.

Now, I felt I was a terrible best friend for barging out in the middle of the night when she needed rest.

“You can always call me anytime, Meg. Nothing’s gonna change between us even though I have a lot of responsibilities. I have also a responsibility for you as your best friend, which is to be by your side when you need me.” Of course, she would say that because she was Camila—a woman who had a heart as a gold.

“Thank you. You can go back to sleep now.” I felt selfish for waking her up, but I needed to run away from that penthouse as far as possible before I got caught up in Forrest’s mess—before I broke my heart. Why I had not thought about that before? Because being with Forrest was clouding my judgment.

Good thing Davis didn’t insist when I warned him that I would yell that he was trying to violate me if he came closer to me—he then let me go.

I leaned against the door as I tried to remember what we shared. I couldn’t get him. How did he mess up his life? For me, he was a good person. He respected me, and I could even feel he sincerely cared about me.

Since we slept together, he had nothing but thoughtful and sincere, but he was dealing with dangerous people—of course, he used to lie and manipulate people. Unfortunately, I became his victim.

My chest ached. I felt alone in this massive room, and no one could help me. When I thought I started to trust someone, he wasn’t real.

Forrest was a chameleon.

***

I called sick, and I felt bad for Mom. She said she understood, and as always, she didn’t pry. I knew her, and a perk of being a psychologist, she could read my mind.

I stayed awake all night in agony. Now, I had a terrible headache, heartache, and I felt exhausted. If I had a chance, I wanted to sleep for days and build my own world because I couldn’t face reality right now.

“Ms. Megan, here’s your breakfast.” Anita, Camila’s servant walked in, carrying a tray of breakfast. “Mr. Pyke and Ms. Camila left for work, and she told me to care of you while she’s gone.”

“Thank you, but I’m fine. Just having a terrible headache.”

“Let me take aspirin for you.”

“You can do whatever you wanna do, Anita.” I was bitch, but I couldn’t deal with anyone right now. I had to figure out how to get out of the mess I walked in.

“I know, Ms. Megan, but I only follow Mr. Pyke and Ms. Camila’s order. So I’ll take care of you.” She smiled evilly.

I glared at her. I probably looked like an evil witch with all messy face and hair. “I can take care of myself.”

“I’m good, Mom. I’ll be all right.”

“You two need to talk.”

I looked up at the ceiling as tears gathered behind my eyelids. “There’s nothing to talk about. We were just having fun and things between us need to end before both of us would go any further and get hurt in the end.”

“You care about him, Meggie.” And he lied to me.

I curled into a ball in bed as I couldn’t anymore bear the pain. “I do. In just a short time I spent with him, and for the first time since Dad died, I felt whole, I felt special. I felt being respected and cared for by a man and never been judged, but certain things between us won’t be good for us. We are still two different people, Mom. He has a lot of deepest secrets. When I thought I knew him, I was wrong. He was right, we both have a lot of skeleton in our closets, and I don’t think he is willing to tell me everything or give up his previous life for us. And I don’t think I am ready to hear them all or if I can look at him the same person all over again.”

“Meggie, if anyone who knows Forrest, it’s me. He’s been my patient for years—”

“What if that’s his way of manipulating people? What if he’s trained to lie, Mom? What if he’s living in two different lives?”

“I can’t discuss you with this, Meggie, but trust me, he’d never came to see me for almost two years. Then he came back because of you. I know when someone lies to me, and Forrest is a lot of things, lying is certainly not one of them.”

“I hope you are right, Mom.”

“Honey, after your dad died, your whole life, you’ve been trying to avoid getting hurt. I get it you are afraid of getting hurt, it’s okay. That’s part of human nature, but you can’t allow fear to dictate or take over your life, your feelings. One day, eventually, you will get hurt because we live in a world full of flaws, and that’s the beauty of it. I know this world is an ugly place, Meggie. But it’s full of love and hope as well.”

“But I can’t be with him. He’s dangerous, mom.” The word dangerous chilled me. I couldn’t believe I slept with him. No matter how strong our chemistry was, this had to end. I couldn’t risk my heart, my life. I lost the man I loved once, and I couldn’t afford to feel of losing another man in life again.

Love? I almost chuckled. I realized why now it hurt so much. Why I was so affected? Why I risked my feelings and broke my rules to sleep with the same man again.

It wasn’t about how good the sex was. It wasn’t about how attractive he was. It wasn’t about how he cared for me or respected me, how he made me feel, or something about the chemical reaction between us. All along, for almost two years, it was all about my deep crush had turned into something more special, and the reason why I didn’t choose to be with someone else because I was waiting for the right one.

“Meggie, are you there? What do you mean?”

“I found a gun under his pillow.”