Forbidden Heat novel Chapter 243

**A few months later**

It’s honestly been almost six months since I’ve been trying to conceive and have been off the pill. Unlike the first time when I got off the pill to try this, this time was proving to be much harder. When I decided that I wanted to have Reiner’s child and secretly got off the pill, I became pregnant a few months after.

I didn’t know what was wrong with me this time. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t with child yet. As time went by, I became more and more frustrated and stressed out about it. Ultimately, I lost count of the times I’ve peed on the pregnancy test stick just to get a negative result.

The pressure was overwhelming, and it got worst as time went by. Of course, I knew that some people waited years before they were able to conceive and it’s only been around six months for me, but still, I was out of my mind stressed about it. I wasn’t sure whether I was pressured because of my own desire to have a baby or because I was afraid that Edward would be disappointed and impatient with the wait.

Looking back, it was probably all in my head because Edward never mentioned or showed any signs that he was in a real rush about it. The disappointment from the negative pregnancy results dampened my spirits more than anything.

I got so desperate that I would force Edward to have sex with me on my ovulation days. Needless to say, he hated it. More accurately, he didn’t hate the sex, but he hated the attitude and approach that I was taking to achieve my results.

“I’m sorry about this, Edward…but it’s the day today…” I said to Edward the moment he stepped through the door of the mansion.

It was late at night when Edward came home after a very long and stressful day at work. Yes, I had Dan inform me of how his day went because I knew that it would impact his performance and therefore, the odds of me conceiving. I was desperate enough to involve even Dan into my reproductive planning.

Edward looked at me with a look of disbelief as he closed the door behind him. He sighed loudly as he looked at me with blank eyes. I could see that his mind was off elsewhere and perhaps not fully functioning because of stress and overwork but hopefully his body is still…virile?

“I’m tired…” was all that Edward said before walking past me.

Did he just turn me down even when I just told him that today’s my ovulation day? You know, it only comes once in a month…so if we miss it…then…

“Edward, please wait…” I said, turning around to grab hold of his arm to stop him from escaping from me.

“It’s late. Why are you still up? Let’s go to bed…” Edward said, and I could tell that he was trying to be patient with me.

“I know…but…it’s supposed to be ovulation day today so…” I mumbled as I pleaded to him with my eyes.

By the time I realized my mistake, it was already too late. I just screamed at Edward. I just took my own frustration on him. This is the worse…

“Natalia…” Edward called my name as he looked directly at me. His voice sounded so calm and that made me feel even guiltier.

“…I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Edward,” I said before shifting my weight to climb off him.

“I don’t think you should be too stressed about the baby…” Edward whispered to me softly and calmly as if he was trying to comfort me.

However, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I didn’t want him to tell me that it was fine if I couldn’t conceive because it’s not fine. I want to have Edward’s child. I felt like I was going to burst out into tears. For a moment, I felt like the world was really against me and even Edward wasn’t being supportive.

There were no words that I could think of that would make him understand my pain and disappointment of not being able to conceive. We’ve tried endlessly for months with no results. I was at my wit’s end and I don’t know how many times I’ve come so close to giving up. However, in the end, my yearning for the birth of our child always won out and I found myself going at it again…and again…

--To be continued…