However, my joy is short lived.
Because we have just…so much to do. And so much to decide.
“Well, Fay? Daniel?” Janeen asks, stretching her arms above her head. “What do you want to do now?”
“The million-dollar question,” Daniel sighs, slumping back and staring down at the table. “Or, the five-million dollar one, really.”
Janeen ignores him, turning her eyes to me. Somehow, she’s intuiting that this decision is in my hands, not his. I’m a little annoyed by it – it’s Daniel’s dad, after all, who we’re talking about here. How has this fallen into my lap?
But then, as I look down at my lap, I remember the baby. And I grimace, realizing that this is…as much my problem as his, now. If I want it to be.
“Daniel,” I say quietly. “What do you want to do?”
“Honestly, Fay?” he responds, looking up at me with sad eyes. “I think we should run.”
My mouth drops open a bit, and so does Janeen’s. It is…the last thing that I expected to hear from him.
“I mean, wasn’t that always the plan?” Daniel asks, leaning forward with a beseeching expression. “Before things…started, between you and my dad - we were always planning to run to Europe, to get away from all of this mess.”
I cross my arms then, frowning at him, because he knows – he knows things have changed for me now.
Daniel sighs, seeing that I disagree, but he doesn’t give up just yet. “It’s what he’d want, Fay,” he says softly, leaning back in his chair and holding my gaze seriously.
“Is it?” I ask, truly curious.
“If he knew that he was totally screwed? That if, as Ivan suggests, he’s just never getting out of there – that the city, and the state, and probably the nation is determined to make a martyr of him in the name of a strike against organized crime?” Slowly, Daniel swings his head back and forth. “He wouldn’t want us caught up in it. He would take the hit for us – for me, for you, for…” he sighs, and looks down at my stomach.
And then I look down at my stomach too, wondering…
God, wondering what the hell is actually best for my kid.
My kid.
I grit my teeth, closing my eyes and fighting the insane string of emotions that run through me in the moment as I consider, for the first time, that this pregnancy that is scaring the hell out of me is going to potentially result in a child, which is going to have needs, and that I have to think about the baby as well now –
“Yes,” I say, looking between the two of them. “Daniel and I are smart, and we can study and talk to the lawyers. But Jerome is useful in other ways – you’ll see, Janeen,” I say, smiling at her. “You’ll like him. But yes, we’re going to need him if we’re going to get Kent out.”
Both stare at me for a long moment and I look softly down at the table.
But for once, I am not shy or demure.
I am just determined, to the ends of me, to fight for him. As he would for me.
“You’re either with me or you’re not,” I say quietly.
And when I look up again, both Janeen and Daniel each nod their agreement.
And I nod back, grateful for their help, because we’ve got a long road.
Without another word, Daniel gets up from his chair to call the lawyer and have them post Jerome’s bail.
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