I stand very still for a very long time, my breath getting increasingly faster as I stare into space, trying to figure this out.
What was – what’s wrong with me?
How the hell did I miss this?!
My period has, since I first got it when I was thirteen, been very regular. And unlike Janeen, who sometimes needs to take the day off and lay in bed for the whole day when her period starts, I have never really had too much trouble with it. So, generally, it’s not something I think or worry about too much –
But this?! To go six weeks without noticing that it just never showed up?!
Have I – have I seriously been stuck in such a sex haze that I just didn’t notice?
But wait – how did I not notice this!?
But beyond that - how did Kent, who is so precise with literally every other aspect of my life, just not notice that I’ve been sleeping with him every night for six weeks without interruption? How did neither of us –
I groan a little, tilting my head back, my brain quickly running through the possibilities.
Because – what does this mean?
My mind obviously turns to the clearest possibility: that I’m pregnant.
But how!? Because Kent had a vasectomy –
But…did it not work? Or is it something worse –
Am I – am I sick? I press my hands low on my stomach and look down at myself, trying to feel if…I mean, did something in me…break?
But I feel totally normal – no pain.
But not all illnesses present as pain at the start…
Jerome, intuiting that something is seriously wrong, curses behind me and closes Heathcliff’s stall door. I’m practically out of the stable and heading for the car when I hear him calling some instructions to the stable workers and then running after me.
“Fay!” he gasps, grabbing my arm before we can get to the car. “What the hell is going on? What happened?”
“We just need to go, Jerome,” I snap, looking towards the car and not up into his face as I usually would.
“What changed?”
I work to pull my arm out of his hand but he holds tight, refusing to let me go. “Fay!” he shouts. “Tell me! Now!”
“No!” I yell, spinning my head to look viciously up at him. “This is my business, Jerome! So, get in the car and drive, all right!?”
Shocked, clearly worried by my sudden change in mood – change in entire personality, really - Jerome drops my arm and takes a step back, looking me over from head to toe. But I just shake my head once and stalk towards the passenger side of the car.
I hear Jerome sigh behind me as he moves to the driver’s side, apparently deciding to play along.
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