Divorce to Destiny: Reclaiming My CEO Husband novel Chapter 503

(Winona)

“Dr Harris will be with you soon. How are your pain levels?”

“It’s okay. A dull ache at most.” Physically anyway.

She finishes fluffing the pillows behind me and checks the monitors one last time. “I’ll make a note for the doctor.”

I nod.

My hand covers my stomach. There’s no baby anymore. No heartbeat to wait for. Just a dull ache where hope used to be.

I hear the door click open. I look over but it isn’t the doctor, it’s Jayden back again.

“Can I get a moment with Winona? I won’t be long…” he asks the nurse.

“Sure, if it’s okay with Winona.”

“It’s fine.” I tell her.

“Hey,” he says quietly, walking over to the chair by my bed.

“Hey,” I reply.

“I’m going to head to the penthouse for a shower and go see the kids, okay?”

“More than okay. I feel better knowing you’re with them.”

“I don’t want to leave you if you’re not ready.”

I shrug. “I’m sore. Empty. Tired.” I pause, my throat tightening. “I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel. But I do know we have to push forward with life. One day at a time. That’s all I can do.”

“You’re right, we don’t have to figure it all out right now,” he says gently.

I look at him, really look at him, and the raw emotion in his eyes nearly undoes me. “What about you?” I ask. “How are you feeling?”

He leans back in the chair, letting out a slow breath. “Helpless,” he admits. “Angry. At myself, mostly. I keep thinking if I’d done something differently… not just about this, about everything that’s happened since I saw those damned photos—”

“Stop,” I say sharply, cutting him off. “Don’t do that. Don’t put all of this on yourself. My choices put us here too. But getting pregnant, losing the baby, both of those things were out of our hands.”

His eyes flick up to meet mine, and for a moment, neither of us says anything.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, his voice cracking. “I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did with Lance and with you.”

“You did exactly what any man would do under the circumstances,” I whisper, my own voice trembling. “I’m sorry for hall pass week and making the choices I made. It was selfish of me.”

Jayden leans forward again, his hand reaching for mine. His grip is firm, grounding, and I cling to it like a lifeline. “I guess we’re even then?”

I nod and there’s something freeing about accepting our parts in this whole thing. We’ll never know if any different choice might have meant we got to keep the baby.

It’s unquantifiable.

“Dr. Harris, if you don’t need me, I’m going to pop home and get cleaned up.”

“Great idea. I’ll set Winona up with some specialist help. She can fill you in later.”

I nod, silently giving him permission to go. “I’ll see you later tonight.” He slips out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Dr. Harris pulls up the stool beside the bed, her expression calm but serious. “I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing emotionally. I know this has been an incredibly difficult time. Waking up to this realization is never easy.”

I nod, my throat tightening again. “I’m managing,” I say, though I’m not sure if it’s entirely true. “I knew in the shower I’d lose the baby. But the hysterectomy makes things so much more final somehow. But I’m determined to push forward while giving myself and Jayden grace.”

She gives me a small, encouraging smile. “That’s all we can ask for right now. Recovery is a process, both physically and emotionally. It’s okay to take things slow. It’s okay to get on with life. But go through the grieving process. I’ll have a psychologist who specializes in this area come see you. Slowly, you will get there.”

Slow isn’t how I want to do this. I don’t want to linger in this space of loss and pain. I want to move forward, to find something to fill the void that’s threatening to consume me.

“Thank you,” I say quietly.

She nods, making a few notes in her chart. “If you need anything, just let the nurses know.”

When she leaves, the room feels impossibly quiet.

I close my eyes, my hand twitching toward my stomach before I stop myself.

It is what it is.

But what it is, sucks.