Demons From the Past novel Chapter 12

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

- André Gide

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I let out a shaky breath before knocking at the door.

After the second knock the door opened, revealing a tired looking Marcus. He seemed surprised to see me.

"Um. Hi Marcus." I said awkwardly, "Is Nate here by any chance?"

Marcus eyed me warily, "This isn't really a good time Verena. Didn't you get his text yesterday?"

I recalled the text Nate had sent the day before, saying that he wouldn't be training with me today.

Or any other day for that matter, considering how we'd parted ways the last time.'

I let out a small sigh, "Look Marcus, I really need to talk to him." I said quietly.

Marcus eyed me intently for a while before giving me an apologetic look, "You don't understand, today isn't really a good day for him. I don't think he'd want to talk to you Verena, I'm sorry."

"Please Marcus! I need to apologize. I said some really horrible things to him yesterday and I need to tell him I'm sorry. I don't think I can live another minute with all this guilt eating me alive. I have to apologize." I pleaded desperately, I felt like I was going to break down any second.

The look of misery on my face made his face soften.

He exhaled loudly before finally shrugging in defeat, "You're a stubborn one, a lot like him actually. I can see why he's taken a liking to you." He said with a wry smile.

"I don't think he likes me very much right now." I responded sulkily.

Marcus chuckled, "Wait here." He instructed before disappearing inside the apartment, he reappeared after a few minutes and held out a key for me to take. "He's in the gym, been there all morning. He's probably locked the door so you'll need this key."

I hurriedly grabbed the key from his hand before he had a chance to change his mind. "Thanks Marcus, I owe you one." I breathed.

Marcus gave me a grin, "Do me a favor and remind him that we have to open the gym in an hour."

I gave him a small nod and just as I was about to walk away I heard him speak up again,

"He's a good man Verena, it's just that his life hasn't been easy. You have to be patient with him."

I didn't really understand the meaning behind his words but that wasn't important right now, I had a feeling that I was about to find out real soon.

"Don't give up on him." Marcus said quietly before finally walking inside and shutting the door.

"I won't." I whispered,

"I won't give up on you Nate."

And just like that I'd made a promise to myself, I wasn't even sure what the promise was, but it was a promise all the same.

************

My hands shook as I unlocked the door of the gym. I hesitantly walked inside, the gym seemed to be deserted.

It took a moment for my eyes to finally adjust to the darkness.

"Nate?" I called out timidly.

There was no response.

A faint thudding sound coming from the far end caught my attention. I walked in the direction of the noise and was able to make out the silhouette of a man.

"Nate?" I called out again but failed to get a response from him.

I was closer now and I could see that it was him. Even before I reached him I could tell that something was wrong. His breathing was disoriented and from the way his chest was heaving it seemed like he was in pain.

"Nate are you okay?" I asked worriedly as I finally approached him.

He didn't even acknowledge my presence, it was as if he was in another world.

My eyes widened in horror as I finally took in the scene before me. Nate's entire focus seemed to be on the punching bag in front of him, his eyes were glazed over as he landed punch after punch on its hard leather surface. His whole body was drenched in sweat, his face looked abnormally pale, his breathing sounded labored.

I winced when I noticed his bloody knuckles, evidently due to the fact that he had been relentlessly punching the bag without any gloves or wraps protecting his hands.

I whimpered when I saw him punch the bag harshly once more with his already wounded knuckles. I knew he was hurting himself and what terrified me was the fact that he didn't even seem to notice.

His face betrayed no sign of emotion, his eyes were glazed over, his whole expression blank.

It was like he had somehow managed to numb himself from the pain.

I felt my heart clench painfully, the meaning behind Marcus's worlds earlier suddenly seemed crystal clear.

The man in front of me had undoubtedly experienced a great deal of pain in his life. So much pain that he'd learned to live with it, numb himself to it, he had managed to mold himself with it. The pain had shaped him, like a sharp knife carving a somber yet beautiful sculpture.

"Nate, please stop." I whispered but he didn't respond. His mind was somewhere else, somewhere far away.

"Nate please." I tried again, he didn't even spare me a glance.

"Nate!" I shouted desperately. His fist collided with the bag again, causing blood to drip down from the tips of his knuckles to the tiled floor.

I had to do something, I couldn't stand to see him hurting himself like this.

We stood frozen in place for a while before his hand finally dropped to his side. His gaze trained on the floor.

I understood that he wasn't accustomed to showing such raw emotions to people.

My eyes landed on his wounded knuckles and I was pulled back to my senses.

"Where's the first aid kit?" I asked softly.

He motioned towards the cabinets in the corner his gaze still trained on the floor. I took out the small box and made my way towards him once more.

"Why don't you sit down?" I said motioning towards the wooden bench behind us.

After he was seated, I positioned myself in front of him and proceeded to take out the required equipment for dressing his wounds.

"I'm going to clean the wound, it's going to sting." I warned as I dampened the wad of cotton with the antiseptic medication. He gave me a nod of acknowledgement but still refused to meet my gaze.

Gently, I took hold of his hand and dabbed it with the cotton wad. He didn't even flinch, it was like he had distanced himself from the world once again.

After I had cleaned and bandaged his knuckles I placed the kit back into the cabinet. My gaze turned to his distraught form, my heart went out to the man, he seemed utterly broken.

"Nate, will you look at me for a second?" I said gently as I made his way towards him. I let out a sigh when he didn't.

I cautiously approached him and sat down on the bench beside him. His breathing was ragged, it pained me to see him like this. I bought my hands on either side of his face and slowly tilted it up, so he was looking directly into my eyes.

"Marcus said that today wasn't a good day for you. Can you tell me why ?" I prodded quietly.

His eyes roamed across my face as he studied me. I knew he was contemplating whether or not he should tell me what was on his mind.

His face contorted in pain as he finally he let out a shaky breath and spoke. "It's my father's death anniversary today."

My heart clenched painfully when I heard his tortured voice. "Oh Nate! I'm so sorry. I know how it feels like to lose someone you love." I said sadly, my thumb gently stroking against his cheekbone.

His whole body was trembling, he let out a shaky breath. Slowly, he turned his head away from me causing my hands to drop limply into my lap.

"No, you don't understand." He said quietly, his voice suddenly had a cool tinge to it.

His gaze met mine once more but this time it was a void of emotion. It made me shudder, somehow this side of him scared me even more than his angry side.

The next words where spilling out of his mouth, his tone completely monotonous.

"Four years ago, on this day," He said slowly, his eyes boring into mine, daring me to look away.

"I killed my father."