Chapter 118
Everything blurred after that. My mother was the one who rushed her to the hospital. Dad wasn’t home, and neither was Finn.
By evening, Mom came back alone.
“She didn’t make it,” she said.
That night, Dad came to my room. He didn’t knock. Just walked in and closed the door behind him.
“After your graduation,” he said with tears in his eyes, “you’re going to leave. You’ll enlist. And I’ll pull every string I have to make sure they send you somewhere harsh. Somewhere that’ll chew you up and spit you out. Maybe then you’ll learn what it means to destroy someone.”
He paused.
“If you don’t agree to that right now, I’ll call the police. I’ll tell them what you did. And I won’t lift a finger to help you. No lawyer. Nothing. You’re on your own.”
What was the point in defending myself when they’d already made up their minds? I didn’t want to be in the house anyway, because I’d kill Finn.
After that night, I was barely ever home. I stayed out until long past midnight, wandering nowhere, doing nothing. Picking fights. Stealing drinks. Getting high with the wrong crowd just to fill the hours. I’d come back reeking of sweat and smoke and sometimes blood, slipping in through the back door like a damn ghost.
My mother gave birth while I was gone. I wasn’t there. Didn’t even know she’d gone into labor until days later when I overheard a neighbor congratulate my father outside. I didn’t ask questions. Didn’t even want to know the baby’s name.
But I saw Finn.
Almost every night.
He’d curl up in the baby’s room like it was some kind of shrine. He lay on the floor every night with a pillow tucked under his head, just staring at the crib.
The baby didn’t make it.
Three months in, she passed.
Congenital heart defect. That’s what they said. Born with a hole in her heart that no surgery could fix in time.
I almost missed that, too. I remember walking past the living room one evening and seeing a nurse in uniform holding a tiny blanket. That’s how I found out. Finn, of course, didn’t take that well. He cried loud enough to shake the walls, screamed until his voice cracked, punched a hole in the hallway drywall.
I watched all of it happen like I was underwater. Faint sounds, blurry faces. My brain was too fried to process most of it.
I don’t remember much from that time–not clearly. I was high more than I was sober, counting down the days until graduation. Until I could finally get
the hell out.
And then I did.
Walked out after the ceremony, tossed the cap, and never looked back.
For almost two years after I joined the army, the only person who reached out was my mother.
Birthday messages.
A photo or two.
Just enough to let me know I still had a name in that house.
Then came Finn with his stupid letters from college. Handwritten. Pretentious. Full of philosophical quotes and insights, like he was some kind of seg monk now. Asking me if I was still angry. Still hurt. Still holding onto a past that, in his words, “had no solid memory to stand on
I didn’t reply, but I couldn’t stop reading them either, especially the part where he described those ridiculous college mischief stories and his stalker psycho best friend.
I told myself I’d moved on after all these years. But I haven’t. Not really.
Which is why, standing before Finn’s door right now, I don’t knock. I pound on it.
It swings open seconds later, and I come face–to–face with my mother.
“Knox,” she says. “You came.”
“Where’s that son of yours that was sent from the pit of hell to annoy me?” I growl.
She frowns and steps forward, blocking my path. “Don’t bring that attitude in here. We want this to go as peacefully as possible.”
“We? Who’s we?” I lean in. “If anyone wants peace, tell your son to keep away from my girlfriend. If he so much as breathes near her again, I swear-
Her hand gestures behind her. “You should come inside, Knox. Come tell him yourself.”
I hesitate. But then I push myself onward, walking into the house.
Finn is pacing the living room like a prisoner waiting for execution.
And then I see her.
Sitting quietly on the edge of the couch.
“If I hear one more word about my son not being your child, Finn, I’m going to hit you over the head with a vase. Because it was your fault I got pregnant in the first place. I don’t care who the father is. You’re absolutely taking full responsibility for this child.”
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