Chased by my Ex Husband novel Chapter 56

Grace

I wince, sensing the soreness between my legs. Even with so many injuries, he was relentless and insatiable.

We ended up having sex in his bedroom again before he finally called Luca and got his wounds bandaged.

I laid there, trying to make sense of things, and he was there, wiping my body with a wet cloth.

I didn’t speak, and he didn’t push me into anything. In the end, we found ourselves on the same bed.

Now, he is lying beside me, his hand placed so close to mine. My heart is pounding in my chest, refusing to calm down or settle.

“ Now, what do we call what happened between us? Is it a one-time thing or what? ” I clench the sheets.

“ I want you to stay by my side. You can stay in whatever way you want, Little Butterfly. You can be my girlfriend…or my wife. I don’t…mind. ” His hoarse, tired voice echoes in the silent room.

My heart misses a beat. Girlfriend or wife…

Both titles scare me.

And the fact that Alma was terrified of the same thing happening ticks me off even more.

“ Were you really going to jump? ” Tristin murmurs, his voice sounding exhausted in the dark.

I pull the sheets to my chin and hum. “ Not really. I was just…walking. ”

I can feel his gaze on me but I refuse to look at him right now.

“ Walking on the— ”

“ Tristin. ” I sigh. “ I did think about killing myself before. It’s true. When I was desperate for a divorce from Ethan, I was already planning on dying after we were done. ”

Suddenly, the distance between our hands ends, and he intertwines our fingers.

A lump lodges in my throat. “ but then I almost killed Ethan and for some reason…I changed my mind. Death didn’t seem so good anymore, Tristin. It felt terrible to know that things could end so smoothly, and no one would know what you are capable of. ”

“ You are capable of great things in life. I know that. ” Tristin squeezes my fingers.

“ I need to know that too. I don’t want to die anymore. I want to chase my dreams…for myself. I don’t want to end up dead without trying, just because I think I have no one. ” I swallow the lump and smile to myself. “ I am going to continue my education. I will do everything I want in life. And if I still fail…I will know that I tried my best. I will not die cold, and crying, Tristin. I want to die smiling. ”

Ethan’s face flashes before my eyes. The guilt he felt that day when I thought he died…it crushed something inside me and made me think about my last moments.

What if I end up with such guilt? What if when I am dying all I can think about is what I could have done more instead of finding peace like I wanted?

If there is no peace in death, then what’s the use of killing myself?

“ You had a hard time, and I was not there for you. ” His lips find their way to the side of my head, and I shudder. “ It will never happen again. I promise. ”

“ It will never happen again, Tristin. I know that too. ” I sigh. “ but it won’t be because of you. It will be because I will not let it happen again. ”

“ What? ” He breathes.

I know I need to leave before I grow weak for Tristin Roberto, the same way I grew weak for Ethan Calder once. I know how that turned out and I know I can not let it happen again.

Ethan could do everything to me because he knew we were not equal. He was an all-powerful man and I was just a housewife, with no family to back me or no backbone of my own.

I understand all that now and if I knowingly end up in an unequal relationship with Tristin, I can not guarantee that he won’t use his power against me one day.

“ Will you ever come back to me? ” His lips feather my neck, his arm squeezing around my waist.

I memorize the sound of his breath, and the thumping of his heartbeat in my back. I think…I am already growing weak for him because he…treated me better than anyone else did in my life, even if it was for his own gain, even if our whole partnership was messed up.

Tristin was the man who told me that I meant something. He told me I was strong, brave, and talented at times when I was losing hope in life.

Now, I must leave him to become what he thinks I am.

“ I don’t know, Tristin. Maybe…I will never return. ” I whisper.

“ Will you be happy? ” His voice sounds soft and low as if he has lost the energy to be stern.

“ I don’t know. But I will try to be. ” I say, and then silence reigns over us for a long time.

When I find myself drifting off to sleep, while cradled in his arms, I think I hear him whispering.

“ If I didn’t love you, I would have caged you in here for the rest of your life. But the thought of making you unhappy and pushing you to the brink of death one day scares me more than not having you by my side does. So make sure to be happy without me, my Little Butterfly, or the next time, I will not let you go no matter what you say to me. ”