Betrothed To The Mafia Lord novel Chapter 174

I’ve always dreamed of furthering my education, because it would make me feel more complete and accomplished as a woman, and it would also make me feel more equal with the men here in the mafia, seeing as only men were allowed to further their education and be whatever they want to be… why the women were to stop at high school, and be married off to a man, and then to birth babies for the said man and that was that.

It didn’t matter to people that we were growing and getting more advanced, it didn’t matter to them that everyone in other countries were leaving their old ways behind and making way for new things to come in, it didn’t matter that gender equality was now recognized in a lot of other countries, all they care about for here in Italy, was the fact that the man were on a higher level compared to the women. It was like a food chain, whereby the males were at a really higher part, and the female at a lower part, the females were expected to take the crumbs from the males without any question whatsoever.

I felt powerless, I’ve always felt powerless, ever since I was a kid, ever since I understood just how this whole thing worked here in Italy, I’ve always felt powerless each time I had watched my father beat up my mother.

I was around four years old back then. It didn’t matter to my father that my mother was really submissive to whatever he says and almost never talk back, it didn’t matter to him that she was always respectful… he still ended up hurting her. And as I grew up, I realized that men are never content.

Men would always be an uncontented set of people. Even though a wife was respectful and submissive to them, it didn’t matter to them. They were going to still find something to hold up as a reason to lay their hands on a woman… at least that was exactly how it was with my mother and father. My mother wasn’t completely quiet and submissive right from when she got married to him, it happened little by little, and I watched as she slowly became more quiet and cold, getting colder toward me even more.

She was never nice to me, and she only managed to grow even colder to me. I sometimes wonder if my brother was right about the fact that she was punishing her children for the things our father did to her, because each time I thought about it, it always ends up making no sense.

I haven’t ever heard of a mother being that way to a child she birthed, if it wasn’t her real child, I’d have understood a little, because not everyone would be able to show unconditional love to a child that isn’t biologically theirs… well, except my mother.

My mother was something else, and I never loved her for once, and when she watched me get married off to someone way older than I am, someone the both of my parents were afraid of, I’ve never hated her more after that particular moment. It didn’t help that I ended up finding out that it was all because of a debt which my father owed Luca for years. It made me start to think about the fact that I was literally just a pawn to my parents, a pawn in which my father used to save himself from getting killed off by Luca.

Now that I was starting to think about it, with my head settled and no kind of pressure over my head, I wished something could happen to both my parents.

I wished…

“Sofia?”

It was a voice that was deep and familiar, and it had sounded quiet, almost on the level of a whisper. I blinked once, shoving the pieces of my thoughts into my head before lifting my head high a little to stare up at Luca.

“What?” I mumbled, staring up at him. His grey eyes were darker at the moment, and it was twinkling a little, due to the force of the sun shining in it. His face wasn’t clearly outlined because this part of the house was dark, and the lights all around the compound weren't lighting this part or the house up. I knew even without thinking and searching, that there has got to be a light switch or something up here, but I was glad Luca hadn’t made any move to go switch it on yet, because being in here with him, was making everything feel really intimate in a kind of pleasing way.

“Bunny?” Luca’s voice echoed softly around me just as his warm and large hand closed around my arm. His hand moved from my arm into my hair, and he turned my head around until I was facing him with his grip in my hair.

I trembled a little, the images still playing out in my mind were getting more and more detailed, and another tremble was running through my body after a few seconds.

“Who hurt you?” Luca’s voice came out softly as he spoke quietly before me, his voice hitting my face instantly. I sniffed, feeling my eyes start to sting, the incoming sign of tears, and I’ve never hated myself in my life like I suddenly hated myself.

I hated the fact that each time I thought about that, all it did was make me feel even less powerful and more broken than ever, all it does is make me shed tears uncontrollably and make me question my existence, all it does it make me feel disgusted with myself even more.

A small sob slipped out of my mouth in the next second, and I pulled away from Luca with all of my strength, pushing myself away from the chair we had both been sitting on, and I made my way towards the banister on the balcony, standing before it but not pressing my body against it, and I pressed my hands against my face, covering my face from tne dark night in shame as I sobbed quietly.

Tears streamed down my face and my body shook with the force of my tears, and I felt more embarrassed because Luca was right there, watching me break down without any sort of control.