Baby I'm A Sinner novel Chapter 74

"What?" he asks and I wave my hand so he can lean down for me to whisper in his ear.

"I don't want us to fight anymore." I yell into his ear so he can hear me over the music. We're too close to the speakers, but I know he can hear me nonetheless.

He presses his lips to my ear. "We weren't fighting! You were mad at me for no reason."

I start to get angry again. "Why can't you just say sorry?" I yell.

He makes a face. "I'm sorry."

I shake my head and the hair falls in my face, so I put it behind my ear. "Like you mean it!"

Noah stares at me for a second, before he suddenly leans down and presses our lips together. His hands come down to my hips so he can bring me closer until our chests are touching.

I lose myself in him, because it's been too long since I've kissed him, longer than I can remember, and I have no idea how I survived.

God, I sound like a fucking sap and it's not good because he definitely doesn't feel the same.

I wrap my hands around his neck and he lifts me up by my hips, but someone pushes him so he lets go, not minding whoever pushed him one bit.

Someone kicks me in the back of my head so I turn around to see that Liam has just taken Emma on his shoulders and she's filming from up there.

"Do you want me to lift you up too?" Noah asks right into my ear, startling me.

"Can you hold me?"

He rolls his eyes. "Don't be stupid of course I can."

Noah crouches down and I straddle his shoulders, gripping into his hair before he stands up with me on his shoulders. I can see everything better from up here, and I look around to look at people of all kinds enjoying themselves, dancing, and singing along to the music.

I take my phone out of my jacket and start filming so I can post something on Instagram when I get home. Or after the concert is over.

Noah is gripping into my thighs and I sit on his shoulders for three more songs, until my ass actually goes numb, so he puts me down.

"Thanks. Sorry if I was too heavy."

He puts an arm around me and pulls me into him. "Don't be silly."

Somehow I end up in front of him with his arms around my shoulders as his chin rests on the top of my head, humming in rhythm with the songs.

The concert ends half an hour later at nine, and we struggle to get out of the swarm of people alive. We make a human chain out of our group and hold hands until we're out of the arena and safely back to our cars.

We all take a photo for our Snapchat stories thanking Noah for the good time and making this possible, and then decide to go to McDonald's and eat because all the dancing and singing definitely wore us out.

I'm not too excited about going to a fast food so late at night, but I go along with what the majority wants.

Plus, I know better than to say no and have Noah and Emma look at me with worry in their eyes for the rest of the night, maybe even the rest of the week. I can never know.

She hasn't said anything to me, but sometimes I catch her whispering to Noah and looking in my direction, especially when we're at lunch. I want to ask her what they keep talking about, but I'm kind of scared of the answer.

Everyone orders at least a burger and large fries, so I ask for a Happy Meal with McNuggets and water. When we sit down, I pretend to be busy with the nuggets and do the eating disorder routine I'm used to. I pretend to take a nugget to my mouth but then say something so it's forgotten.

I give two of them to Jake, who is way too hungry, and then take a bite out of one of the two that are left, because Noah is staring.

When we finish eating we sit around the table and talk about the concert, until it's almost closing time so we have to head home.

Noah drives Emma home first, and then Jake, and then Jade and me. I don't get out of the car when Jade does, because I feel like I need to talk to Noah, although I have no idea what to say to him.

"I'm just going to wait on you outside." Jade tells me and then closes the car door. She walks up to the gate and sits down in front of it before she lights a cigarette.

"Everything alright?" Noah asks, turning to look at me.

I'm sitting in the passenger seat because Emma and Jake quickly got in the backseat, leaving me no choice but to ride next to Noah on the way home.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"Otherwise, why would you stay behind?"

"I just..."

Just say it.

"Do you love him? Are you together? Do you want to be his girlfriend? I think he likes you."

I'm taken aback by all the questions, so all I can answer is: "Why do you think he likes me?"

Jade sits down on my bed and takes her hair out of the ponytail.

"Um? Because it's obvious? He's never been after a girl this long and I've personally never heard him say that he cares about anything else other than pizza and video games. Honestly."

"What do you mean by 'after a girl'?"

"I mean...he's never just 'been' with one girl this long. I don't know how to explain it. Basically, he hooks up with someone one or two times and then it's over. He's on to the next one. But with you it's different somehow. I haven't heard him talk about anyone else in a long time. Longer than I can remember."

"Oh...alright. No matter how cute he is, I don't think he wants a relationship though. And I don't think I want one either. It would be too complicated and it wouldn't work. We're two different people."

Jade smiles.

"I think that's why you'd be perfect for each other."

***

Monday at school, everything seems to have gone back to normal. Noah and I make out during breaks under stairwells or in dark corners, Luke doesn't dare to come in our direction anymore, and we all have detention from three to six.

In Sex Ed, Mr. James has taken it upon himself to talk about the dangers of unprotected sex once again, since last time apparently someone had a pregnancy scare and almost dropped out of school.

"Today, on March 1st..." Mr. James starts but I completely zone out.

"What?" I ask out loud.

"I said, today on March 1st." Mr. James repeats, clearly annoyed that he just had to repeat himself. As he goes on, I start to panic and gather my stuff.

"Everything alright?" Emma whispers to me.

I shake my head and lean over so I can tell her without anyone hearing.

"I just missed my period."